Friday, June 20, 2008

Never Buy A Used I-Pod

Today we had some interesting things happen. The CPR baby dummy that had been appearing here and there was discovered on the prep counter this morning. It was leftover from when this ship was called the Rapture, and we kind of held onto it as a twisted little mascot for all our misadventures. Leaving it in people's beds, or doing strange things to it, removing limbs and the like, became just one more form of entertainment for the crew. This morning though it was found covered in clarified butter sitting on the prep counter. Angie, who had to clean and sanitize the counter, wasn't too happy. Baby went into the trash can.

Through metaphysical power, the power of belief, or just odd coincidence, the oven that the baby had been left jammed into the door earlier this week shorted out, smoking and sparking as it died. More on that later.

One of the more interesting things that happens on these boats is the phenomenon of special orders. People like being special and having special little things brought to them. Today at lunch we served Thai Chicken wraps. My bad, we did have chicken at lunch yesterday too, so some lady asked if she could have smoked salmon in her wrap (she had already asked for something different at boarding dinner and we'd given her some smoked salmon we had in the fridge. So we obliged her today, then someone else at the table thought that was a good idea and asked for one as well. Keep in mind we'd already made two low-fat wraps, one salad with no wrap (gluten allergy) and one wrap with no peanuts (even though they were only on the side as a plate garnish). Oi.

So we do all these things, feeling very abused and underappreciated. I get into "a mood" at this point and send Angie and Shelly upstairs to take breaks since Shelly is getting up early with Angie to learn Early Riser routines and desserts and such. I let out my angst with some Ani Difranco, who alternately fires me up and gets me all misty eyed, meanwhile I'm prepping as much as possible for dinner so things will go smoothly. When I'm finally satisfied with my progress, I clean up and go upstairs for a nap. Napping from 4:30 to about 5:20, I groggily make my way down to the galley. At this point the girls promptly inform me that the oven (which the cursed CPR baby had been in) pretty much exploded. Well, smoked and sparked out through the door. Unfortunately this took the griddle with it, since they are linked in circuit. Oi.

Dinner time was a cross between awesome and horrible. Everything was peachy keen as soups went out for first course. Then, with about four soups left to serve, the call comes from the bridge, "we've got bubble netting humpbacks dead ahead." Awesome, and not. Truly bubble net feeding is the greatest most amazing thing to see. We ask the next server who comes down, "are people still sitting?" "Yeah," they say. OK, keep serving. Set up six plates for the first table, about to put proteins on, when another server comes down and says most of the passengers have left the dining room. So this is why I requested a big warming oven. Into the warmer everything goes, and out we go as well to see the show. Ten minutes later, satisfied with my dose of spectacle, I walk back down to the galley, and stop in the dining room as I see about a dozen people sitting at their tables, apparently waiting for dinner. That's odd. They didn't care about the whales so much. So I told them we'd have dinner for them shortly and then trudge up to the bridge to alert the servers that they had folks in need of service. Long story short, the whole dinner hour, which had been delayed by 45 minutes or so, consisted of people moving to different positions, getting up and watching whales after their plates had been prepared, and people literally trickling in over the course of a half hour.

Now, as I finish typing, Eric the Chief Engineer and bunkmate has just informed me that the main element for the right hand oven has blown itself into four pieces, but that the griddle and two right-hand burners should hopefully be operational by morning. This is good as I have already put a special french toast dish on the menu for breakfast, and I'd be nonplussed to have to bake it instead of using the griddle.

I'm getting up early tomorrow since we have BBQ for lunch and we're going to Baranof Warm Springs in the afternoon. This has to be my favorite place in Southeast Alaska, and I'm looking forward to a long Sulfery soak in a public use horse trough hot tub with an amazing view.

Good night.

One Week Down

The Highlights:

Had to announce a change to the printed menu one day. Came out at lunch and told them the pork wasn't up to my standards (though actually I just didn't have any - smoke and mirrors!) Too bad folks we're having filet mignon instead. Then I made my piano debut on the Explorer by mostly improvising a blues tune entitled "Pork Loin." Went something like "woke up this morning got the pork out, didn't look quite right, guess we'll have filet mignon tonight."

Made up another blues tune called "Bananas Foster" for our first tableside cooking presentation. Shelly did the fireworks on one of our butane burners while I kept it raw on the keyboard. Shelly is so brilliant that she waited till I sang "then you add the liquor" before adding the liquor. Almost like we planned it - which we didn't have time for of course.

Reportedly did a bang up job in general (we'll see what the comment cards say tomorrow) but in particular I rocked out the Elk stew. It was fun to tell the passengers that I was waiting to hear that Wednesday morning whether the Elk had arrived on the Alaska airlines flight. It did, and I was on the phone on the back deck as we went into Petersburg and gave the thumbs up to all the passengers waiting to disembark. Then the elk arrived - all 175 pounds of it. Oops, we had to send about 165 pounds back (fun to carry up the thirty five degree incline, one-hundred foot dock gangway). The Hammer and Wikan grocery store folks were so diligent in making sure we got the elk before leaving dock at 1:30 pm that they forgot to tell the driver that the vast majority of the elk was going to the store freezers where they would hold it for me. But the stew did go over very well despite the debacle in getting it.

The dumbwaiter that makes our lives so much easier (once it was working on day 2) almost bit the dust today (Thursday - day 7 of our inaugural cruise). We were working as usual sometime after lunch cleaning things, when all of a sudden Dani the hotel manager hit the send down button from upstairs. The thing just flew down all noisy with dishes and scared the bejeezes out of everyone. Within an hour, our Chief Engineer Erik had it fixed better than before. Apparently the weird squeaky noises it always made had been a bad sign. Angie still doesn't completely trust the thing, though no one was hurt and no dishes were broken.

Though I may never get to use it for lack of time, I found out today that Erik has a Playstation with him. It's plugged in right now, and he's playing some car racing game. Cool.

Only had one day where we had to work without a break from five am til ten pm. The galley was grumpy today because we were in recovery.

Shelly got to see Orcas and Humpbacks, some bears, go kayaking, and watch a Glacier calving. I didn't spend much time outside, but when I was, the vistas have been incredible. Late snow on the mountaintops hasn't melted yet. Southeast Alaska is definitely at its finest.

The ranger who came on board in Glacier Bay (we always have one onboard while we overnight in the park) was the same one from a couple summers ago. Though he was hoping I'd forgotten, he was the ranger that came to the crew "rave" we held one particularly fun week. The crew on the Quest was awesome that week and we set up strobe lights, loud music, and non-alcoholic beers in the engine room late at night. Everyone dressed in toga's while I had my own strange get-up: flowery sleeping shorts and a chef coat that was mostly unbuttoned. I'll never publish them, but there must be literally 300 or more photos from that night. Anyway, it was the same ranger and he totally remembered. 'Course, how could he forget.

So many stories - so little time to record and remember them.

Good night from the Great Land.

Brain Working

Whatsoever I can say with limited brain functionality is contained herein.

Typical Day:

Wake up at 5:15 am, 1/2 hour early since the expedition leaders requested an early breakfast and lunch to accomodate excursions and activities. Make my way to the bridge to print out menus for the day; gee, do I have enough chicken to make Thai wraps for 36 guests and 16 crew? Yeah, most people eat too much protein anyway - I'll stretch it out with peanuts. Good, don't have to change anything.

Good morning Cappy (Captain Scott).

Good morning Phil. How's ya doin?

You know, tired but happy. The stewards' dishwasher upstairs isn't working again, so that sucks, but the dumbwaiter has been going strong for a couple a days, and that's really nice.

Well, that's good.

Yeah. How bout you?

Oh, great, a little loopy; runnin on a couple hours sleep.

Damn dude.

Yeah.

You gonna get a nap today?

Yeah, Sean (first mate) is so great to have along. He and I 've been working together for just lots of years, so I can pretty much turn to him at any point and just turn it over.

That must be great. Angie is kind of the same way for me. Well, back to it.

Yup, see ya later.

Make my way down three flights of stairs to the galley stopping to set the newly printed menus at the tables where guests will be sitting in a couple of hours.

In the galley now.

Mornin Ang.

Hay : )

How ya doooin?

Good.

I do some dishes, figure out what I need to get going for breakfast. Brain not working yet, so I get some pots of water on the stove eventually for oatmeal, Glacier Bay Porridge, and Poached eggs. Except the morning Shelly did it for me and I forgot which pot had all the vinegar in it (helps poached eggs set up quickly and stay together in the water), and proceeded to dump fourcups of milk into boiling vinegar water. Yeah, that pretty much makes instant cheese. Oops.

Ah, brain kicks in, better crack a couple flats of eggs for Strata Frittata. Slice some of Ang's leftover bread, butter the top, and throw in oven to toast (since I forgot to set it last night to get stale - technically I should make the whole thing with pre-staled bread the day before next week, as the egg batter will soak into the bread better and keep it from floating). While toasting, crack the eggs quickly - two at a time. Don't worry about shell, I'll strain it out later, and even if not, it tends to float to the bottom of the bowl anyway. Cut up Reindeer Sausage we buy from Hammer and Wikan Grocery store in Petersburg (small fishing town with Norweigan roots) though the sausage is actually made in Anchorage by the Alaska Sausage Company. Cut green onions, and Shelly arrives.

Mornin Shelly.

Good morning : )

Sleep good.

Yeah, but I had this crazy dream about the boat.

She recounts the crazy dream while slicing fontina cheese for my frittata.

Yeah, I always dream about the boat to when I'm working too.

After afew days thats all I dream about. Sometimes I wake up from a nap and think its the next day. Sometimes I wake up and decide I don't need that much time to prep dinner after all. Reset alarm for 1/2 hour later. Hopefully Ang and Shelly don't notice I'm late. Of course they will. Better get up. They keep me honest most of the time.

Frittata made and in the oven by 6:55 or so. Technically probably not enough time. Better turn the oven up. Technically the top will get a little browner than I'd like that way, but I just didn't get it out fast enough to make it perfect. They won't know the difference anyway. Only me and the girls will know the difference usually. That goes for a bunch of stuff.

Meanwhile Ang, the whirling dirvish that she is, has panned up two sheet pans of bacon, pulled all our other leftover breakfast meats (sausage patties, ham, yesterdays bacon) and yesterdays breakfast potatoes.

Hey Phil you want to re-use these today?

Yeah, we only got a couple orders yesterday - not worth the time to make new ones and they don't look that bad.

Sweet.

Booo-ya.

Hey, put Dr. Dre on the ipod.

We bust out Gangsta rap and one at time we thematically don our hankerchief do-rags. Ghetto thugs, yo.

Brain gets lost. Fast forward through breakfast. Lots of eggs and toast. Et cetera. Dishes. Only the third breakfast we've done, so it's still a total shit-show. Bad communication from stewards to galley and back again. Eggs fired too early sit there for minutes. Eternities.

Crew meanders down as they get time. Cereal, meat, eggs, toast, oatmeal, whatever. Any chocolate cake left from last night? Sho' nuf. Here ya go. Don't tell your physician I gave you that for breakfast.

Phil, let me finish up dishes. You go start your lunch prep.

What about all your stuff.

Oh, dinner bread is in the oven, lunch dessert is done, and I'm making Glacier Cake with all that frozen chocolate stuff.

You are a freak. I love it.

Yeah. Go.

Grab loads of veggies, some recieving pans, and set up a station. Gotta eat something first. Don't eat the bacon. You don't need the bacon. Nibble half a sausage, mmmm...that bacon sure looks good. There is plenty. Maybe half a piece. Eat some yogurt and frosted shredded wheat to make up for halves of pig products. Fortunately I pulled Spinach wraps from the freezer when my brain wasn't working, so they're thawing above the range. Better flip them around. Put peanuts in the oven to toast. Get water boiling for Rice Stick Noodle salad. Chop veg. Chop veg. Chop veg.

Crap, forgot the chicken. Quick thaw in a pot of boiling water. Should be done just in time.

Fast forward to just in time. Kind of hot still, but fully cooked, chopping the chiken along with the leftover chicken from Satay yesterday. Damn, why did I make chicken with peanut sauce two days in a row? Planning for months, and some little last minute switch makes me all of the sudden look like an amateur. Nobody will notice except me. No one ever does usually. Or that paranoid voice in my head that says they all notice, but don't say anything.

Remind myself that so far, every report has been positive. So far so good.

Plenty of wraps for crew. Try not to irritate Shelly and Ang with my extreme sense of urgency and particularness about how much filling each wrap gets. A little more, a little more, no thats too much. Here's how I want to roll it, here's how I want to plate it, here's what goes with it. No like this. That's my job though, and they know that. They don't want my job. They tell me that every other day practically.

Ang has made a huge batch of hot cocoa for the passengers to have on the glacier viewing skiff ride. Too bad I didn't buy a quarter of the hot chocolate mix we needed this week. Oh well, we'll just have to make it from scratch and hope we don't run out of milk.

Break time is getting closer. Now it's 1:00 pm, we're all cleaned up from lunch, crew is fed, Shelly and Ang got a smoke break, I resisted this time. I'm being good.

Ang, busting it out like mad, gets the brie trimmed and wrapped in Phyllo with Raspberry sauce. Probably prettier than I could have made it myself. Too bad she's leaving in a couple weeks and I've got to train new guy. Oh well, he could be awesome too, and Ang has needed her own boat for quite a while. I'm proud she's finally got the Quest as her own. Hope that treats her well.

Duck breasts are thawing now,

Ladies, go take your break. I'm gonna stay and do Caccitori veg. That way there'll be less time when no one is in the galley - just in case.

Chop veg. Chop veg. Chop veg. Listen to ipod. Chat with Roger, the night engineer and resident electrician (considered a "plank owner" because he spent months wiring the Explorer inside and out.) Roger wants to make cinnamon rolls tonight (for crew), so I show him where all the stuff is. Adios man, I'm going on break now. Make a list for Ang and Shelly of stuff to do when they get off break and come down. Skin and pin-bone salmon sides, make daily gourmet cheese platter, pick crab for Salmon Roulade, chop four shallots, sautee in butter, and then add a bottle of Pinot Grigio (being served at dinner) to reduce for a while.

3:15. Get to my bunk, settle in, shift and fold some laundry. Hey, I found the other half of that invoice I was supposed to send last Friday. Gotta remember to e-mail accounting. Play some Jack Johnson in Strum and Sing mode, trying not to wake Ang and Shelly napping across the hall in the port side five-man bunk. Speed through a few relaxing tunes, put on the headphones, set the alarm for 4:45. Its now 3:36. Pretty good nap today. Dream about the crew, but not specifically the boat. It was a dream about bonding with people under stress. very appropriate. Get woken up by Ang asking if she should start the Coconut Curry Butternut squash soup. Sure I say. Roll over and go back to sleep.

Wake up. Today still. Go down, hazily bust out dinner prep. Never made the salmon before, hope it works. Yup, not bad. A couple rave reviews. Whatever, I know the difference. Shelly does the duck breast Caccitori style, smashing job. I always add too much Kalamata to the veg, so I tell her to do it instead. One person wants plain salmon, one person can't eat tomatoes. Pull some aside before adding tomato sauce. Everything comes out well and the Fennel tops look nice on the plates, like dill but lighter green and wispier. I know the difference.

Clean up, feed crew, though mostly they feed themselves. Send Ang up to bed since she's been doing early riser muffins and fruit. Shelly and I finish cleaning and start the floors. Shelly finishes the floors and I go with her up to the ledo deck (top of the boat where the smoking section is for crew). There are whales 100 yards off the bow just lazily feeding, but we can hear their blowhole noises like deep pipe organs ripping paper. We chat about life and Alaska and cooking. Commiserating too, since there's always plenty to complain about, but we can't really say anything to anyone. Even on a ship this size, it is a bad idea to rock the boat in any way.

Go to bed.

Set alarm for 5:45 am

Type.

Sleepy time.

11:24 pm

File.

Save As.

Blog 3.