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Struggling Lower-Class Still Unsure How Best To Fuck Selves With Vote

October 30, 2008 | Issue 44•44


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WASHINGTON—As election day nears, millions of the nation's poorest voters have reportedly yet to settle on the most profound and enduring way to completely fuck themselves over when they head to the polls this year.

"On the one hand, I'm pretty sure Barack Obama will undermine my best interests by maintaining the same centrist, pro-corporate policies of previous Democratic administrations," said Jim Estey, 34, a recently laid-off assembly-line worker. "Conversely, I agree with McCain and Palin on abortion, which might just balance out the fact that they'll further marginalize people like me by supporting deregulation and slashing social programs. So it's pretty much a toss-up at this point."

Though such behavior appears to directly undermine their own well-being, lower-income voters have historically supported candidates determined to screw them six ways to Sunday, including Bill Clinton, who incarcerated them in record numbers and cut the welfare benefits many depended on for day-to-day sustenance, and George W. Bush, who widened the gap between them and the rich and sent thousands of them to die in Iraq. This year's election is reportedly unique in that the nation's poor must not only weigh how deeply and painfully their chosen candidate will penetrate their rectums, but must also consider unforeseen outside circumstances—such as economic collapse and terrorism—that might allow the next president to bend them over and brutally rape them in ways they never thought possible.

The latest polls indicate that a majority of lower-class citizens might choose not to vote at all Nov. 4, preferring instead to leave the details of how they get fucked to the moneyed classes.

Contains a "bad" word M$%@*!^*(#er

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from The Onion (dot com)


Swaggering Down: Swaggering Down 87%


"The average stride has decreased from 2.5 feet in length to mere 11-inch shuffling steps, and the angle of a walker's torso in relation to his waist has gone from a confident 28-degree backward lean to a pitiful 67-degree bent-over slouch," Macleod said. "Perhaps most distressing is the near-total absence of Americans making imaginary guns with their fingers and 'shooting' at passersby while winking."


I remembered first love with my wife when she laid her head on my shoulder and settled there.

Today I'm in a random mood with that jumbo-tron brain screen with quantum mechanical brain cells pumping in more directions and dimensions than I'll ever have names for.

I witnessed the beauty of two people learning to form new ideas about the world and test and wrestle with and form these ideas into pyramid blocks of advanced design - meanwhile they learn tolerance and patience and fellowship.

Trampled truly are dreams of anyone plugged in enough to know fear like locking the door all the time, like folks who've never been in a fight carrying a handgun, like a man programed and damned to want only what every other man has.

Oh, to solve a Vendetta's worth of misfortune, blaming only the circumstances of history, and fulfilling a rare prophecy of reflecting back in a mirror only that which you seek to see around you, to see change, to see the special lighted pathway to turn turn turn suffering into synergy, grime into growth, mayhem into magic.

Oh, to hold it all in your head, then swing out of silent safety with actions unfolding in sequence to reset.

Space has form as a mind has form, with infinite sequences of emptiness full of emptiness counters where the sounds of silence charge the empty space, producing potential for leaps of light and energy from Lifesavers cracked in mouths to our planets pull on the fabric of the entire universe.

And outside space is where our planet has no pull, where connection is meaningless, where any wandering mind would be revoked or dissolve, since "as we know it" would cease.

And I'm pissed at the people who are afraid still; we worry ourselves to death and I want a culture of life.

And I'm pissed at the people who vote against their own true interests because they don't dig deep enough either to find true concerns or find the not-so bubble-yum bravely self-proclaimed objective and objectional rational - dare I say Enlightened? - truth out there that can only ever exist subcutaneously away from the surface scan of permanently previous epochs of progress we call the media