Punch Drunk Down Week

If only I'd had time to write everything down. Very soon, my summer adventures will be over, but lots of stuff has been going on in the past month (things other than writing and having access to the internet); good weeks, mal weeks, hip-hop weeks, gum drop weeks, and then there was Galley Prom Night. Well, I wore lipstick that night among other things, but I'm sure you've seen the photos by now. Oh gosh, geeesh, wow, hmmmpf - what a summer it's been.

My first week back from vacation posed some challenges. I had the patience-filled pleasure of working with a nineteen year old Marines recruit named Josh. His restaurant resume consisted of mostly bussing at Applebee's. His mom works in the ASC office and he needed something to keep him occupied for a few weeks before shipping off to boot camp. This was one of the few times I've thanked my experience at Qdoba for preparing me so well to teach teenagers how to be professional cooks. Josh generally had a great attitude and didn't mess up very often, and definitely managed to speed his dish doing by the end of week two. He also left us with some peculiar phrases to repeat and remember him by. "Wowwww! What da' $@#!" Had to be there I guess. He also did me the huge favor of capturing video of Banana's Foster night which is hopefully posted on my page by now.

Most of the specific events of that time are clean out of my head now. Maybe the lack of naps from those first two weeks prevented their retention. If I get the chance, I'll ask my culinary partner in crime Shelly if she remembers anything good from that time. Yeah, no naps, no galley raves, good work, but, no offense Josh, I hope the Marines work well for you (for your sake and mine.)

When Josh left, my relief chef - very soon to be Executive Chef - Mike G. came on board. I was going to make him do breads and desserts for cross-training purposes, but Shelly asked if she could continue on as she was in the (carbohydrate) zone. We all agreed it would be really nice to have an easy week with three aces in our hand. Ironically enough, we had some "particular" passengers that week including one woman with Celiac disease (severe wheat gluten allergy). One guy inspired me to new levels of counting-to-ten by announcing on the second night that "all the food here is rubbish" and "I've been starving for two days [since he came on board]." He said it during dinner and Dani the Hotel Manager told me about it soon afterward. Needless to say.... Another group was non-plussed that we didn't have Biscotti to go with their ice cream. In true ASC fashion, Shelly spent some time the next day making a big batch of Biscotti to try and win them over a little more. Mike was awesome as usual - he'd do a good chunk of dinner prep by the time I was done with the lunch prep. Naps were had aplenty.

One night, there had been multiple whale sightings in the half hour leading up to dinner. Big Daddy (aka Tim Voss aka Vossy) even made an announcement that whale things were occurring. When little or no passengers went out to see them, I went ahead and assumed they were far too excited about dinner to bother with wildlife. Ten minutes to dinner and still no call to delay dinner saw me shouting "Galley Wins! Galley Wins!" I almost called Big Daddy just to gloat. Dinner began, things were great, first course went out, dinner plating began apace, when all of a sudden.... Gently booming his big voice over the intercom speakers, Big Daddy says, "um...folks, I know you're in the middle of dinner, but we're about to have a National Geographic moment just off the bow." Big Daddy wins - wildlife wins. We knew we had to go out and see, so everything went into the warmer and we were all fairly speechless. As some of my unprofessionally captured video shows, two Orcas were attempting to kill a lone humpback whale. Those of us more tender found it hard to watch, considering how majestic and gentle humpbacks are. One lady cried. But, the science of it and the once-in-a-lifetime-ness of it won out pretty quickly. The Orcas weren't attacking the whale per se. Apparently it is quite risky for the little dolphin-cousins to take on a massive humpback with a massive tail. So instead, they harass the whale, keep it on the defensive, nipping and bumping it until it begins to tire. Eventually the goal is to drown the whale by continually driving it down. The drama unfolded slowly, with the silence punctuated by the uncharacteristically loud and desperate pitched gasps for air by the humpback. Having spent a fair bit of time watching whales, the upset or panic the humpback was feeling became poignant through it's behavior; the trumpeting breaths, rolling back and forth agitatedly, and lots of defensive tail slapping. This departure from what is usually a predictably calm and graceful creature made the whole episode all the more chilling and interesting. We waiting almost an hour until the drama peaked with the appearance of two more Orcas, followed shortly by the timely rescue of the exhausted victim by a fellow humpback. Once the scene was so crowded (not to mention the gigantic yacht covered with telephoto voyeurs) the original two Orcas gave up the hunt and everyone departed. Beth the Expedition Leader was asked many many questions while the show was progressing, but many of her answers were, "I have no idea, I have never seen anything like this before." This is especially significant considering how much time Beth has spent watching whales. Then dinner began again gradually, with some seats at some tables needing service sooner than others who lingered watching the retreat of all the whales.

So the next week, when a transient pod with several Orcas and a juvenile were hunting a wayward Sea Lion, the crew was amazed. So much carnage in a few two weeks! Once before in all my time in Southeast Alaska I had seen Orcas hunt and kill a Dall's Porpoise, but this kind of serendipity was truly thrilling. At first it seemed like the Orcas were taunting the poor surrounded Sea Lion, swooping in close, probably bumping him or nipping at him as they leaped in a short arc out of the water. Their black and white clown faces and teeth blurred by over and over again. Then our other expedition leader, Richard (I think), explained that the adult Orcas were teaching the younger one to hunt. I guess repeating the killing maneuver behavior got the young one to understand and begin imitating the motions. Meanwhile, as Big Daddy pointed out over the loudspeaker, the victims group of Sea Lion buddies were a short distance away. They were clearly agitated, making some noises and doing some splashing and hopping kind of activities. The Sea Lion didn't fare as well as the humpback had the week before, and eventually the passes the Orcas made became more serious and fatal. Though, fortunately for some of us, the actual final moments occurred mostly underwater. I didn't have my camera with me that time. I think my battery was dead. This can be a good thing however, as many people seem to spend significant amounts of attention on their technology during such a time of significance. I didn't regret being able to use my own senses to record the experience. How greedy of me.

That week had a low-attendance galley rave, but most importantly, we had our own make-shift pinata named Ass-Clown. As a stress reliever that week, we planned for days and then sent Shelly and Mike on an expedition to find some kind of clown paraphernalia which could be stuffed with individually wrapped treats and then beaten while a cheering audience egged the cudgel on. Dani Barney was chosen as the wielder as she bore the brunt of the angst-causing events. Shelly was especially impressive in her clown nose, red wig, pillow-butted pants, and former galley rave wear clown shirt (look for the same flowered shirt on Captain Shonda from earlier galley rave photos).

Oh and how could I forget about the crew dib ride (no breaking down this time) when Sean powered the dib right up onto a huge, smooth sloped ice burg bit, and I got to step onto the ice burg and discreetly (and non-sense-ically) pull my pants down enough to put my bare ass on the bergie-bit itself! How many people can say that honestly!

Since then, the most significant event has been Galley Prom Night. The First Annual S.Explorer Prom of 2008 was a short lived smashing success. Instead of the usual emergency strobes, the decorating committee (mostly me and Shelly) decided to go with the paper lantern string of lights (amazing the kinds of random things we have on board - "In Case of Summer Formal Break Glass"). Balloons were hung, stars were hung, [ ... ] were hung, and yes indeedy-dudey: I went in drag. But, I wasn't the only one. My date, Aimee, drew some chest hair on herself, borrowed Kevin's black beret, and donned one of her famous fake mustaches (once again, "In Case of Cross-Dressing Break Open Mustache Cache"). S/he was very suave and gentlemanly, yet intriguingly aggressive on the dance floor. Granted s/he did break out of character into high pitched giggle fits on occasion, but what's a girl to do? This was the first time I wore women's clothing (that I'll ever tell about) and I my recently acquired ensemble from Petersburg's Salvation Army actually worked quite well. I had sandals instead of heels, and the only makeup I had was my spectacularly "Florida Fuschia" (according to Aimee's recollection). I don't know; you be the judge. Punch was served, many photos were taken with many special poses, and Big Daddy made time to come down from driving the boat (a late run that night) just to give his hot date, Shelly, a flower and take some pictures to last a lifetime. Kevin was particularly impressive in his black coveralls and won Gena's heart over with his crisp and beautiful bouquet of parsley (which is now incorporated lovingly into 90+ Halibut and Risotto Cakes sitting in my freezer). My heart was throbbing out of my newly expanded chest as the votes were counted for Prom King and Prom Queen. I never expected...but wait...could it be...A TIE! Shelly and I were both Prom Queen! Oh Happy Day! And my she-man, of course (like duh), was almost unanimously voted Prom King. Everything worked out so perfectly - I wish that night were never over.... Except for the balloons, all the decorations are still up today, adding a more comforting air to the usually industrious galley. At the end of that week (last week) we even had Dan Blanchard, our CEO who was on board semi-vacationing all week, come down to the galley late one night, bar-blazed with several other intrepid and special passengers to take the best galley tour ever. With most of the lights out, and the paper lanterns lit up all pastels, they walked the galley and Aimee brought down her computer so we could tell the story of galley prom night and give them a slide show to remember.

All in all, I and we have put an amazing amount of love into that little sub-level work environment. There's four drawn hearts with arrows through them on the support pole in the middle of the prep island in the galley. The first one says Angie, the second says Shelly, the third says Big P, and the fourth says Mike. I'm proud and satisfied to say we all put more love, time, work, worry, and tears into that galley than anyone ever hoped for. All for one and one for all, we live love in the name of good times and good food. May it ever stay so.