So a long time ago, I posted on facebook, an update of my status I suppose, "do any of you smart and/or educated friends of mine have ever heard of a Graduate Program in the Philosophy of Mathematics?" I eventually found one, and it turned out to be online. For the purposes of this story, the school's name was Hogwarts, and it only smelled like musty books, the occasional incense, and the occasional waft from the friendly dungeons down below. Just for the record, I slacked off, had a great time, but somehow managed to get a degree and a respectable knowledge of the subject.
My second badge-degree was in Math History, where "my fields" were Ancient Egyptian Rope-stretching, Gnomic Communities, and the Goddess Ma'at, right hand woman of Ra (I ended up correcting the relationship she had with the counterpart imposed on the myth much later in the Kingdom), and of course how socio-genetic trends of the Egyptian Ancestors and the tribal realms surrounding the Upper and Lower Nile proved that wide cultural diversity has been a beneficial norm throughout pre-History.
I'm hoping that by the time I die that I will complete work on the Mathematics of Philosophy and attempt to codify the clarity the journey will have given me in The Greatest Cookbook Ever Written, by PK Bunker. Stone carvings of this text will be distributed throughout the ancient stone structures around the globe. When aliens one day examine the remains of our civilizations, they will see that they too should follow my advice. Other than that, it will be free online of course.
Shortly after my Bachelors was completed, I became somewhat known at the campus for two organizations I founded: the UAA World Debate Squad Boosters Association (good ol' ooh-uh-uh-Word-Sba) and the Cabin Fever Talks (feat. Professor Roast and Festive Val LeFunny). The professors who volunteer every year to be quizzed by students and forced to perform or profess that which will amaze us all (coincidentally informing and creating a tangible school spirit event, boosting attendance of School Union Sponsored Headliners) are great people, and they mostly don't mind the vaudeville. It was fun to see the Theater, Communications, and Culinary School come together, and that every other department could join in as well. I particularly enjoyed hearing a person speaking Russian argue with a person speaking Mandarin Chinese (not my favorite year otherwise though). It really has invigorated the learning community, loosened up the Honors kids, and the talks themselves have never disappointed: Psych. dept - the psychology of college transitions and transformations; Sociology dept - the ten best ways to save the world; the Economics dept. - seriously, how to get rich and not be stupid and overly-greedy about it; Physics - the nature of the Universe or the Northern Lights; Biology - how to do surgery on your dog if you are stranded and have to.
I myself am still teaching away, and I sincerely miss Alaska. With the Speaking Tour money this summer, I was able to buy a sleek new aircraft, so I guess we'll still be able to fly up to the People's Republic of Alaska and pick crowberries every year. We're almost out of the 2018 vintage Bunker-Lanziano sparkling Crowberry Mead, and it would be much cheaper to fly the berries down than to keep paying the shipping and duties from our wild berry brewery up in Moose Pass (taxes in Alaska have gotten outrageous since the agricultural boom up there). We'll still stop by the lodge there, check up on the middle managers of course, but I think the kids and their cousins and friends could use some more time in the outback even if they complain about the mosquitoes the whole time. The crew will have probably neglected to stock the two-year-prior stock of the firewood shed, but I kind of enjoy an excuse to get as much of that Alaskan air as I can before we come back to the Lower 46, so a choppin' I'll probably go. Hopefully our good friends are managing the farm back home and none of the critters are causing them trouble, because school will be starting when we get back, and we'll have a lot of brewing to do. Ooooh, it's been so long, I may save some of the Crowberries for muffins...
As to the continued climate change problem: though the extinctions have been going up, and human population disasters are becoming more common, I urge you all to read the material released every year by the World Bioneer Commission in Washington D.C. and remember to ignore Harvard's Dissention - they're always looking out for you-know-who (not us). It is crucial that we not panic in the face of these recent atmospheric instabilities - the scientists assure us that overall things will be changing very gradually, and that any day now, we'll begin to see the signs of the fishery recovering worldwide. Life adapts, even better than we have learned to do as a species.
from my office at Birkenstocks Tower - Phillip 2020
