Sunday, December 21, 2008

Headliner In Life

Today's Headlines:

Over-Pressurized Easy-Cheese Can Linked To Man's Drowning

Coca-Cola Announces: Cola Nuts Never Actually Added; CEO baffled to describe mysterious nut's flavor

Fashion Police Arrest Nudist For Withholding Evidence

Hopscotch Secrets Revealed to Area Boys; deal made with handful of jacks

Archie Comics Declared Bankrupt in Content Audit; cartoonists revealed to be a group of dusty Atari gaming consoles

Acid-Rock Persists in Moving Inebriated Listener from the 70's; sweat barely kept in check by fading red bandana

Area Dogs Break Tradition With Profound Moment of Silence

Hip-Hop Same As Rock-n-Roll in Local Violinists Mind

Upcoming Hip-Hop Hook Recounts Story of Genesis

Headline Typesetter Dies Premat opeij jfa;f i

Bistro Chef Declares Moratorium on Special #2;waitstaff unaided in cleaning up public relations mess

Student Publication Censored For Editor's Protection

No comments: